We are family?

Given the genetic nature of Alpha-1 Antitrypsin Deficiency, I figured it would be wise to let my mom's side of the family know about it so that they could get tested if they so desired. The thing is, I haven't spoken to my mother in almost 3 yrs. Because of this, her sisters--my aunts--are not my biggest fans. A couple of them still talk to me (as in if I called one of them they wouldn't hang up on me, but we're not chatting or anything), send me Christmas cards, and stay pretty neutral. Two others (and three of my cousins) think I am one of the worst human beings on the planet. Now, I get that they have only heard my mom's side of the story and I'm sure it's dramatic and fraught with lies and how I'm just "killing" her. Thing is, all through my childhood she made it well known to me that I was in her way of being happy. If it wasn't for me she could find a good man--all the ones she dated (and two of the ones she married) didn't like kids. She was verbally and physically abusive although it wasn't horrendous. I wasn't locked in a closet and forced to drink my own urine. It wasn't nice though. Still, I did everything I could to win her approval and make her happy. One day I finally realized that it didn't matter what I did...she would never be happy. Not for herself and definitely not for me. The woman reveled in making me feel like shit. I got tired of it. Knowing her demeanor and penchant for drama I knew that trying to explain this to her like a normal human being would only result in her flying off the deep end and lots of angry words being said. I had tried once before when she came out for a visit. She ended up staying at a motel the night before she left, instead of at my dad's where she had been staying, throwing a big fit, and telling my aunts how awful I was.

That's my mom. I don't expect her to change and that's okay. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't hurt by the fact that part of my family has chosen to disown me. Growing up I was always a good kid, took care of people, and loved my aunts. For some reason they were awesome moms. Not perfect I'm sure, but man they loved their kids and loved being a mom. I wanted that. So yeah, it sucks that I don't feel like I can call one of them up and ask for advice or even just to hear how they're doing. Again...it is what it is.

I put my feelings aside and emailed my aunts and cousins to let them know what I had. I told them that it was serious, that I would most likely be put on the liver transplant waiting list, and gave them links to places where they could read more and even request a free anonymous test.

My mom called my dad the following day. No one called me. Nor emailed me. So much for family. You'd think they could put aside their differences long enough to let me know they're thinking of me. That no matter what they love me, even if they disagree with my choices as an adult. I can't say that I'll update them. If they cared enough they would've let me know. Since they don't, cest la vie.