After emailing Dr. B (the pulmo) back and forth a few times, it was decided that I should see Dr. J since Dr. B couldn't get me in until Feb. On New Years Eve I made the trek down south to Oregon City to meet the endearing Dr. J. Like my rheumy, Dr. J was very thorough...starting from when I was a small child and leading all the way up until present day, we went over all the weird things I have. At various points in the conversation, Dr. J had to stop and laugh as a new diagnosis was presented. I'll admit that it's quite overwhelming listing everything I have/have had. And amusing to a degree as well. I mean, come on, who the hell has all of this crap?! He asked several questions, did an exam, and ordered a CT scan of my chest along with a pulmonary function test. Depending on what those show I may have to come back and get a Methacholine Challenge test. In the meantime, I was given a Peak Flow Meter to measure my breathing in between all of this. The first day I used it the highest it went was 350. Yesterday I got it up to 410. Normal for someone my age and height is roughly 480.
My CT and lung function test is scheduled for the 10th of this month. The methacholine is on the 18th, I think. Or maybe that's my follow-up appt. I'm too tired to go get my reminder.
Other than not being able to take a deep breath, still being sore, and utterly exhausted, I'm hanging in there. I had a horrible bout of what we think was food poisoning the week before Christmas. That was one of the worst things I have ever gone through. Luckily no one else got sick, hence why we think it was food poisoning instead of something viral, but it took me about a week to feel even halfway normal. The odd thing is that I haven't gone back on the Questran and haven't needed to. I'm almost afraid to say that in case I jinx it. :o) My exertion headaches seem to be gone as well. I did get another bad one at the base of my skull yesterday so I may mention them to the pulmo when I see him since he seemed concerned about them.
Showing posts with label Questran. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Questran. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Saturday, December 1, 2007
GI Specialists Strike Two
Last week I called Dr. N at OHSU to discuss my prognosis and ask a couple of questions. I was a tad concerned given the articles I had been reading about NASH seemed to suggest that I had a 1 in 5 chance of developing cirrhosis in 5-10 yrs. While I understand that no one knows how this will all play out, and/or if it will turn to cirrhosis for sure, I was curious to see what Dr. N thought based off of things thus far.
The phone conversation started off nicely enough. I told him that I wanted to know what he thought my prognosis was and he said that typically "this" (re: NASH) takes decades to progress to cirrhosis. For him he was more concerned about the possibility of me developing Diabetes. (As an aside here--I don't understand why he thinks I am Insulin Resistant given he said they NEVER see it coincide with Hypoglycemia. I explained that I was diagnosed as Hypoglycemic when I was younger, yet that seemed to go in one ear and out the other.) I told him about the article I had been emailed regarding MZ Alphas having their NASH exacerbated due to their MZ status...bad idea. After that things quickly deteriorated. From our first meeting Dr. N had seemed put off and very skeptical about the Alpha-1 support lists that I belong to. When I had mentioned some of the information I had learned about Alpha-1 regarding MZ Alphas and liver transplants, he asked where I had found "these people." As if it never occurred to him that there are such lists and groups in existence. I thought that was beyond odd but was willing to overlook it so long as he showed he had an open mind and was willing to even listen to what I had to say--even if it came from my "imaginary friends." (insert rolling eye icon here, please)
Somehow the topic of my liver hurting came up. Despite him telling me in the face-to-face appt. about the bag surrounding the liver, how it's typical for it to hurt as the liver enlarges, and whatnot, he backtracked. Said that he didn't think my upper right quadrant pain was from my liver. Dr. N said he thought I had Fibromyalgia. I'm sorry...I had no idea he was a rheumatologist as well! I then informed him that I had already been tested for, and cleared of, Fibromyalgia. In fact, my rheumy, and two orthos were quite confident that I have spondylarthropy--possibly Ankylosing Spondylitis. Then Dr. N did the typical arrogant, white coat, asshole thing to do. He pulled the rug out from underneath me despite not having ANY of my lab tests, chart notes, doctor's reports, etc. He told me that he wanted to "be real honest" with me...that I had "a lot going on--5 things, in fact" and that he didn't think I had any of them.
Spondylarthropy? No way.
Bile salt diarrhea from having my gall bladder removed? Absolutely not. (nevermind that the medicine I'm on for it ONLY works if you have bile salt diarrhea--otherwise it does nothing)
Alpha-1 Antitrypsin Deficiency? I don't have it!
(Not sure what the other two things are, but I guess I don't have those either)
So like...I'm all cured then, right? I mean, if I don't have any of those things then there is absofuckinglutely nothing wrong with me! SWEET! I can stop taking the Questran, stop taking the Percocet for the pain, and just go back to being normal. He's a freaking GENIUS!!
Needless to say, when I hung up the phone I was in tears. This man made me feel like I was the biggest freakin' idiot on the planet. He made diagnoses and took other already made diagnoses away from me without having the first shred of evidence to back any of it up. The only medical records he had available were my Alpha-1 results, my liver biopsy, and some of my liver enzyme tests. That's it. No CT's, no xrays, no specific bloodwork, nothing that points to what the doctor's I've already seen say. Doctor's that are HIGHLY respected in their fields. What is that saying? When we ASSume things we make an ASS out of U and ME. Yeah...he made an ass out of himself and an ass out of me. I was an ass to think this doctor had the desire to truly get to the bottom of things and to give me good care. Dr. N made an ass out of himself by just being an ass.
I am once again looking for a competent, liver specialist, that will not treat me like I'm an idiot, nor a piece of shit. Someone that actually knows of which they speak. A doctor that will LOOK at ALL of my medical records and hell, maybe even CONVERSE with the doctors I've seen, and then make the diagnosis. I have no problems accepting that I don't have A1AD liver disease--at least not at this point in time. But obviously something is going on and that needs to be watched. And please do not tell me that I don't have stomach issues thanks to the missing gall bladder. Believe me, I have tried to stop that nasty, gritty medicine with a positive "I no longer need this!!" frame of mind many times to no avail. I would love, love, love to not have to rely on any medicine...especially this one...but the medicine does its job because my body obviously needs it. And please stop telling me I do not have Alpha-1. From everything I have read and been told, if your Alpha-1 levels are routinely low, and you have at least one deficient gene, then you are considered A1AD. I DO have A1AD. If you tell me I don't I will instantly know you are not the doctor for me. It does not matter if my liver is not affected by it, or if my lungs are still fine. Alpha-1 is a part of my health regardless of if it's affecting me at this time or not. One more thing...if you are a GASTROENTEROLOGIST then please keep the diagnoses to your specialty. Leave the rheumotological stuff to the rheumatologists. Thank you.
The phone conversation started off nicely enough. I told him that I wanted to know what he thought my prognosis was and he said that typically "this" (re: NASH) takes decades to progress to cirrhosis. For him he was more concerned about the possibility of me developing Diabetes. (As an aside here--I don't understand why he thinks I am Insulin Resistant given he said they NEVER see it coincide with Hypoglycemia. I explained that I was diagnosed as Hypoglycemic when I was younger, yet that seemed to go in one ear and out the other.) I told him about the article I had been emailed regarding MZ Alphas having their NASH exacerbated due to their MZ status...bad idea. After that things quickly deteriorated. From our first meeting Dr. N had seemed put off and very skeptical about the Alpha-1 support lists that I belong to. When I had mentioned some of the information I had learned about Alpha-1 regarding MZ Alphas and liver transplants, he asked where I had found "these people." As if it never occurred to him that there are such lists and groups in existence. I thought that was beyond odd but was willing to overlook it so long as he showed he had an open mind and was willing to even listen to what I had to say--even if it came from my "imaginary friends." (insert rolling eye icon here, please)
Somehow the topic of my liver hurting came up. Despite him telling me in the face-to-face appt. about the bag surrounding the liver, how it's typical for it to hurt as the liver enlarges, and whatnot, he backtracked. Said that he didn't think my upper right quadrant pain was from my liver. Dr. N said he thought I had Fibromyalgia. I'm sorry...I had no idea he was a rheumatologist as well! I then informed him that I had already been tested for, and cleared of, Fibromyalgia. In fact, my rheumy, and two orthos were quite confident that I have spondylarthropy--possibly Ankylosing Spondylitis. Then Dr. N did the typical arrogant, white coat, asshole thing to do. He pulled the rug out from underneath me despite not having ANY of my lab tests, chart notes, doctor's reports, etc. He told me that he wanted to "be real honest" with me...that I had "a lot going on--5 things, in fact" and that he didn't think I had any of them.
Spondylarthropy? No way.
Bile salt diarrhea from having my gall bladder removed? Absolutely not. (nevermind that the medicine I'm on for it ONLY works if you have bile salt diarrhea--otherwise it does nothing)
Alpha-1 Antitrypsin Deficiency? I don't have it!
(Not sure what the other two things are, but I guess I don't have those either)
So like...I'm all cured then, right? I mean, if I don't have any of those things then there is absofuckinglutely nothing wrong with me! SWEET! I can stop taking the Questran, stop taking the Percocet for the pain, and just go back to being normal. He's a freaking GENIUS!!
Needless to say, when I hung up the phone I was in tears. This man made me feel like I was the biggest freakin' idiot on the planet. He made diagnoses and took other already made diagnoses away from me without having the first shred of evidence to back any of it up. The only medical records he had available were my Alpha-1 results, my liver biopsy, and some of my liver enzyme tests. That's it. No CT's, no xrays, no specific bloodwork, nothing that points to what the doctor's I've already seen say. Doctor's that are HIGHLY respected in their fields. What is that saying? When we ASSume things we make an ASS out of U and ME. Yeah...he made an ass out of himself and an ass out of me. I was an ass to think this doctor had the desire to truly get to the bottom of things and to give me good care. Dr. N made an ass out of himself by just being an ass.
I am once again looking for a competent, liver specialist, that will not treat me like I'm an idiot, nor a piece of shit. Someone that actually knows of which they speak. A doctor that will LOOK at ALL of my medical records and hell, maybe even CONVERSE with the doctors I've seen, and then make the diagnosis. I have no problems accepting that I don't have A1AD liver disease--at least not at this point in time. But obviously something is going on and that needs to be watched. And please do not tell me that I don't have stomach issues thanks to the missing gall bladder. Believe me, I have tried to stop that nasty, gritty medicine with a positive "I no longer need this!!" frame of mind many times to no avail. I would love, love, love to not have to rely on any medicine...especially this one...but the medicine does its job because my body obviously needs it. And please stop telling me I do not have Alpha-1. From everything I have read and been told, if your Alpha-1 levels are routinely low, and you have at least one deficient gene, then you are considered A1AD. I DO have A1AD. If you tell me I don't I will instantly know you are not the doctor for me. It does not matter if my liver is not affected by it, or if my lungs are still fine. Alpha-1 is a part of my health regardless of if it's affecting me at this time or not. One more thing...if you are a GASTROENTEROLOGIST then please keep the diagnoses to your specialty. Leave the rheumotological stuff to the rheumatologists. Thank you.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
A step in the right direction
Got the results of my liver panel bloodwork and it looks like my ALT was only two points above normal, so that's really good. The AST and everything else was normal, which is how it's been for a bit anyways. I'm still waiting on my records for my biopsy. The hospital changed a bunch of things so that now instead of going in, requesting what you need, signing a release, and walking out with your paperwork, you have to go in, sign a release, and wait. They also implemented a fee for each time you get your records. When the person in charge of handling all of this called to verify what I needed and my address I asked him about the fee and what they did for people who couldn't afford it. I was told that they "make deals" with people. Okay. So it's more of a guideline than a rule, eh? He said that he wouldn't charge me, which was nice considering how much the cost of everything has added up, and would put them in the mail that day (Monday). I still haven't received them. If they haven't arrived by tomorrow I'm going to call and see if I can't go down there and pick them up myself.
The GI's office agreed to call in one month of Questran for me. Why they couldn't just do another standing order is beyond me. I will most likely need to be on this for the rest of my life so it annoys me that they are making it difficult.
The Aciphex seems to be doing well for me. My throat is ever so slightly sore at times, yet much better. I also haven't been having the reflux like before. It's been nice not having that big issue to deal with on top of everything else.
Surprisingly I've started having a bit more energy. Nothing to get excited over, just enough that when I drink my coffee I actually get a few things accomplished. Been awhile since that has happened.
Arthritis-wise the achy legs continue. Some days are better than others. No one from Dr. B's office has called about me stopping the Sulfasalazine and what they want me to do. My SI joints have been acting up here and there but the cortisone shots still scare me. I have no doubt those will suck.
The GI's office agreed to call in one month of Questran for me. Why they couldn't just do another standing order is beyond me. I will most likely need to be on this for the rest of my life so it annoys me that they are making it difficult.
The Aciphex seems to be doing well for me. My throat is ever so slightly sore at times, yet much better. I also haven't been having the reflux like before. It's been nice not having that big issue to deal with on top of everything else.
Surprisingly I've started having a bit more energy. Nothing to get excited over, just enough that when I drink my coffee I actually get a few things accomplished. Been awhile since that has happened.
Arthritis-wise the achy legs continue. Some days are better than others. No one from Dr. B's office has called about me stopping the Sulfasalazine and what they want me to do. My SI joints have been acting up here and there but the cortisone shots still scare me. I have no doubt those will suck.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Seriously
I tried "warning" the GI dept. about my A1AD so that the Nurse Practioner I was seeing could read up on it, yet it fell on deaf ears. They just assured me that if she didn't know about A1AD she would ask the doctors. And I'm seeing her why? Blah. So my appt. rolls around and I go in to see NP B. She's got a bad attitude from the start, yet I don't care...I'm just hoping she's gonna surprise me and tell me what the next step is in finding out how bad my liver is. Instead when I tell her I have A1AD she tells me, "That's a lung disease. We don't treat the lungs. You'll have to see a Pulmonologist instead." Oh yeah...here we go. I correct her and explain that A1AD can indeed affect the liver. She agrees but has to put a little "but that's EXTREMELY rare" on the end of it. Not really and does it matter? I mean if you have a patient that is A1AD, has had elevated liver enzymes for over a year, has an enlarged liver, and has tested negative for all the obvious diseases that cause liver damage does it matter if the only thing that makes sense is rare? I may be the only case she sees yet that won't change that if the Alpha-1 is causing this that it is what it is. I digress.
The moronic statements continues as she asks me about heartburn/GERD and what I'm taking for it. When she asks if I take the Prilosec w/food I tell her "No. I don't have an appetite in the morning anymore. Been that way for at least a couple of months and that's not like me." She launches into a dramatic, somewhat freaked out lecture about how I HAVE to eat. Uh...yeah, I would, if I wear hungry and not nauseous. The next words out of her mouth still have me angry and shocked. "How long have you been anorexic for?" Seriously. I was dumbfounded. First, I wear a size 8--sometimes a 6 if I go to Old Navy (love that)--and weigh roughly 135. Second, when I was in high school I had a nasty rumor spread about me that I was anorexic because I weighed 98 lbs. and the girl didn't like me. I wasn't anorexic then (I had a kickass metabolism and was very, very active) and I sure as hell am not anorexic now. The only words I could form were, "Excuse me?" and she sighed heavily and said, "Okay fine then...how long have you been without an appetite." NP B. is a real gem, I tell ya what. I later asked my dad (a nurse) if anorexic has a different clinical term that I didn't know about. He said it means not taking in proper nutrition to sustain life. Still not connecting me not having an appetite in the morning to not sustaining my life. I've tried, there are no dots.
Then NP B. had to say over and over again about how she didn't have ANY of my records and therefore couldn't do ANYTHING for me. No matter how many times I explained that my blood tests and CT scans were all done at either the hospital or the actual clinic I was sitting in at that very moment, she refused to hear me. Other doctors from the same clinic had accessed my records as had docs from outside the clinic. They had no problems. Yet I guess this was too much for NP B. to handle. She did give me a "physical" though. Lasted all of 2 mins. I think. The woman barely pushed on my side and proclaimed that she "couldn't even feel" my liver. Again, funny given that two other doctors felt my liver quite easily although they did push harder. Maybe that was the issue. (insert sarcastic smiley here)
I told NP B. that I was extremely exhausted, had quite a bit of pain and uncomfortableness in my right side, was very bloated, and had "brain fog." Her diagnosis? Unrelated to my liver. Remember, according to her there was nothing wrong with my liver as the ONE test result she could access wasn't high enough for her (but it was indeed elevated) and she couldn't feel my liver. The bloating? Oh that's from dairy. Ya know, that 1 cup of cappuccino a day I drink...yeah, that's it. Or my medicine that I've been on for over a year and never had bloating like this. Totally! No way is it because my liver is failing. The rest of the symptoms she had no answer for yet assured me she didn't think they were caused by my liver.
Taken from the American Liver Foundation website: "Alpha-1 may also appear in late childhood or adulthood and be detected because of fatigue, poor appetite, swelling of the abdomen and legs or abnormal liver tests." Now call me an idiot but why is it that I know more about liver failure than a GI Nurse Practioner? One of the other major symptoms is diarrhea. TMI folks, yet this was one of my very first symptoms that started two years ago. The GI folks think/thought it was IBS despite not having any issues before and it starting suddenly. I've also been having the big "d" again although I've been on medicine for it for a year and a half. I gotta think it's not a good sign.
NP B. did tell me to up my medicine (Questran) after she looked at my eyes. I had my dad look at them and he said there was a bit of jaundice there. Questran is commonly prescribed for jaundice (I was put on it to control "d" after my gall bladder surgery), so we can only assume that if I wasn't on it then I would be as yellow as the sun. I don't have any plans to see if this is true, though. Other than that, she said she'd look over my test results and then call me to go get more labwork done. Total.Waste.Of.Time.
Friday I called to see what I could do to get an appt. with an actual doctor. One who is, coincidentally enough, both a GI and a Hepatologist (liver specialist). Turns out NP B. already spoke with him after my appt. last week. No word on what was said or what, if anything, the plan is for me. Instead I got to find out that Dr. H. is booked until Sept. I practically begged the girl stating that I am getting worse and don't think it would be smart for me to wait that long. She was very sweet and put in an email to Dr. H. in hopes that he'll squeeze me in soon. I guess we'll see how it goes.
I don't think I posted about my follow-up visit w/Dr. B. I actually saw his PA whom I like. I am considered G6PD (Glucose-6 Phosphate Dehydrogenase) Deficient. They want me to start taking Sulfasalazine and try taking the Gabapentin again--though not at the same time. We need to watch for side effects. With the G6PDD there is a chance I could be thrown into Hemolytic Anemia. That would be bad. So I have standing orders for routine blood tests to monitor me. Hopefully this will help my achy joints/muscles with no allergic reactions and/or side effects. The PA tried to pin Dr. B. down for a diagnosis for me yet he said he wasn't ready to "pigeonhole" me just yet. :oD Irregardless he does think I have either Undifferentiated Spondylarthropy and/or Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disorder. Arthritis...that's all I know. I haven't started the Sulfasalazine yet as I want Ryan to be home w/me in case I have a bad reaction to it. Plus this weekend was so crazy that I didn't want to take it and end up w/horrible stomach cramps, bad "d," or whatever. Hopefully I can try it out on Tues. I would love to be off the Percocet w/all the liver stuff. I'm still at 1 to 1 1/2 pills a day, which is really good considering, yet I've noticed that I'm almost having to take the 1 1/2 pills a day instead of half to one. I don't like it. I know the docs would be "oh seriously, that's nothing!" but I don't like it. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do, I know. And I wouldn't take them if it didn't feel like my freaking legs were being beaten.
I am so ready for some good health.
The moronic statements continues as she asks me about heartburn/GERD and what I'm taking for it. When she asks if I take the Prilosec w/food I tell her "No. I don't have an appetite in the morning anymore. Been that way for at least a couple of months and that's not like me." She launches into a dramatic, somewhat freaked out lecture about how I HAVE to eat. Uh...yeah, I would, if I wear hungry and not nauseous. The next words out of her mouth still have me angry and shocked. "How long have you been anorexic for?" Seriously. I was dumbfounded. First, I wear a size 8--sometimes a 6 if I go to Old Navy (love that)--and weigh roughly 135. Second, when I was in high school I had a nasty rumor spread about me that I was anorexic because I weighed 98 lbs. and the girl didn't like me. I wasn't anorexic then (I had a kickass metabolism and was very, very active) and I sure as hell am not anorexic now. The only words I could form were, "Excuse me?" and she sighed heavily and said, "Okay fine then...how long have you been without an appetite." NP B. is a real gem, I tell ya what. I later asked my dad (a nurse) if anorexic has a different clinical term that I didn't know about. He said it means not taking in proper nutrition to sustain life. Still not connecting me not having an appetite in the morning to not sustaining my life. I've tried, there are no dots.
Then NP B. had to say over and over again about how she didn't have ANY of my records and therefore couldn't do ANYTHING for me. No matter how many times I explained that my blood tests and CT scans were all done at either the hospital or the actual clinic I was sitting in at that very moment, she refused to hear me. Other doctors from the same clinic had accessed my records as had docs from outside the clinic. They had no problems. Yet I guess this was too much for NP B. to handle. She did give me a "physical" though. Lasted all of 2 mins. I think. The woman barely pushed on my side and proclaimed that she "couldn't even feel" my liver. Again, funny given that two other doctors felt my liver quite easily although they did push harder. Maybe that was the issue. (insert sarcastic smiley here)
I told NP B. that I was extremely exhausted, had quite a bit of pain and uncomfortableness in my right side, was very bloated, and had "brain fog." Her diagnosis? Unrelated to my liver. Remember, according to her there was nothing wrong with my liver as the ONE test result she could access wasn't high enough for her (but it was indeed elevated) and she couldn't feel my liver. The bloating? Oh that's from dairy. Ya know, that 1 cup of cappuccino a day I drink...yeah, that's it. Or my medicine that I've been on for over a year and never had bloating like this. Totally! No way is it because my liver is failing. The rest of the symptoms she had no answer for yet assured me she didn't think they were caused by my liver.
Taken from the American Liver Foundation website: "Alpha-1 may also appear in late childhood or adulthood and be detected because of fatigue, poor appetite, swelling of the abdomen and legs or abnormal liver tests." Now call me an idiot but why is it that I know more about liver failure than a GI Nurse Practioner? One of the other major symptoms is diarrhea. TMI folks, yet this was one of my very first symptoms that started two years ago. The GI folks think/thought it was IBS despite not having any issues before and it starting suddenly. I've also been having the big "d" again although I've been on medicine for it for a year and a half. I gotta think it's not a good sign.
NP B. did tell me to up my medicine (Questran) after she looked at my eyes. I had my dad look at them and he said there was a bit of jaundice there. Questran is commonly prescribed for jaundice (I was put on it to control "d" after my gall bladder surgery), so we can only assume that if I wasn't on it then I would be as yellow as the sun. I don't have any plans to see if this is true, though. Other than that, she said she'd look over my test results and then call me to go get more labwork done. Total.Waste.Of.Time.
Friday I called to see what I could do to get an appt. with an actual doctor. One who is, coincidentally enough, both a GI and a Hepatologist (liver specialist). Turns out NP B. already spoke with him after my appt. last week. No word on what was said or what, if anything, the plan is for me. Instead I got to find out that Dr. H. is booked until Sept. I practically begged the girl stating that I am getting worse and don't think it would be smart for me to wait that long. She was very sweet and put in an email to Dr. H. in hopes that he'll squeeze me in soon. I guess we'll see how it goes.
I don't think I posted about my follow-up visit w/Dr. B. I actually saw his PA whom I like. I am considered G6PD (Glucose-6 Phosphate Dehydrogenase) Deficient. They want me to start taking Sulfasalazine and try taking the Gabapentin again--though not at the same time. We need to watch for side effects. With the G6PDD there is a chance I could be thrown into Hemolytic Anemia. That would be bad. So I have standing orders for routine blood tests to monitor me. Hopefully this will help my achy joints/muscles with no allergic reactions and/or side effects. The PA tried to pin Dr. B. down for a diagnosis for me yet he said he wasn't ready to "pigeonhole" me just yet. :oD Irregardless he does think I have either Undifferentiated Spondylarthropy and/or Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disorder. Arthritis...that's all I know. I haven't started the Sulfasalazine yet as I want Ryan to be home w/me in case I have a bad reaction to it. Plus this weekend was so crazy that I didn't want to take it and end up w/horrible stomach cramps, bad "d," or whatever. Hopefully I can try it out on Tues. I would love to be off the Percocet w/all the liver stuff. I'm still at 1 to 1 1/2 pills a day, which is really good considering, yet I've noticed that I'm almost having to take the 1 1/2 pills a day instead of half to one. I don't like it. I know the docs would be "oh seriously, that's nothing!" but I don't like it. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do, I know. And I wouldn't take them if it didn't feel like my freaking legs were being beaten.
I am so ready for some good health.
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